Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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