if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
