Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
They have beer where we have blood.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
