I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
