Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I am naked and annoyed.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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