Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
