Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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