Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
