When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
