What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
