i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
