btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
