Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize