my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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