I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
