We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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