I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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