So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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