i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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