I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
