apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
