So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
