I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
