yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
