Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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