you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize