I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
