So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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