love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
