eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
True college students do jello shots in the library
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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