looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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