And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
