He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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