So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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