Quick, to the slutcave!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
