I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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