I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
