my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
