he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
