Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Randomize
