Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
