At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You need Xanax blowdarts
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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