How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
