im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
