Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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