Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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