Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
