Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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