My pussy is not your playground.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
