I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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