I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
