he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
