Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
