You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
