You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
