was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
