You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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