The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
