Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Do vagina's smell?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
