I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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