I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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