You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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