i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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