i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
