office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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