If that was your dad, he is hot
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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